It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
