i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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