There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
