don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
