Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize