there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
