so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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