We won't sleep together?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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