She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
