So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
