okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
