Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
