Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
