My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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