Your mouth is God's brothel.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
