i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
