The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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