I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
