And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
