Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
