I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
