Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
