I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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