Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
