i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
