I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
