Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
