dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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