I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
