The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
