my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
