Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
