Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
