the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
