His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
