i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
