Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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