She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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