Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
