last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
