A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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