I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
