One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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