She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
false alarm. still invincible.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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