One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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