wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
