so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
