so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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