There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
