I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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