girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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