you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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