You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
