literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
