are you still at the devil's house?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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