i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
high people should be assigned attendants
pop tarts are not kleenex
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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