Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
