He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
