He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
