hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
