Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
nutella sex= disaster
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
