The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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