And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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