so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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