the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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